The Best Moral Book of the Millennium

It's the Annual Jubilation Regarding the Moral Inculcation of Children Via Great Literature

Welcome, April! And cheers to all celebrants of the Annual Jubilation Regarding the Moral Inculcation of Children Via Great Literature.

Monsieur Le Virtu.

In honor of this holiday on the 1^st of April, and because democracy is always the surest way to determine excellence, I present to you: a poll.

In this special edition of The Hundred Acre Bookshelf, please help us determine: Which of these esteemed characters best represents the moral exemplar our children ought to emulate?

As Charlotte Mason said in Ourselves, “We want a wider range of knowledge than the life about us affords, and books are our best teachers.” Behold, three top contenders for the title of “Best Moral Literary Exemplar of the Millennium.”

Option 1: Mr. Toad

The hero of The Wind in the Willows, Mr. Toad is bold, dashing, and rich. He wears fashionable clothes. He is an early adopter of modern technology (namely, the motorcar). He executes adept escapes from danger. As he says of himself in his charming song, “The clever men at Oxford know all that there is to be knowed, but they none of them know one half as much as intelligent Mr. Toad.”

Into our national epidemic of low self-esteem bounds Mr. Toad with just the bravado our youth need.

Option 2: The White Witch

The original girlboss, the White Witch (or Jadis, as she might prefer we call her) assures us that a woman can indeed run a country. She runs it so well and so thoroughly that social upheaval (and even weather upheaval) become unheard of…mostly. Of course, in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe she is maligned by Aslan, but so it is with any brave woman who cracks the glass ceiling.

And did we add that she is deeply devoted to justice?

Option 3: Gollum

The only mortal strong enough to own the One Ring for hundreds of years, Gollum is a picture of tenacity. No one delights as he does in his personal possessions (rather, possession, as there really is just one thing he claims ownership of). A flexible fellow who can adapt to circumstances while keeping steely grip on his unwavering goal, Gollum represents the kind of mind-numbing perseverance necessary for our children to succeed in the modern American school system. Really, where would Bilbo be in The Hobbit if not for Gollum?

Now vote, vote, vote! Our recognition of merit depends on it.

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In order to achieve the best picture of merit possible, do share this post with others. As James Madison said in Federalist 10, only a large republic of voters can protect against factions. All must vote.

And perhaps you know of a better role model? Feel free to write your own in the comments. We can never have too many superstars for our children to idolize.